William Ury Positive No Sequence

Apply William Ury positive no sequence to decline requests clearly while preserving trust and protecting your core priorities.

4 time blocks, 20 minutes in total.

Time blocks

Define your internal Yes: 5 min
Identify the deeper priority or value you are protecting
Draft a matter-of-fact No: 5 min
State your refusal directly without apologizing or over-explaining
Formulate a constructive Yes: 5 min
Offer an alternative boundary that supports the relationship
Deliver the complete response: 5 min
Communicate the sequence calmly via conversation or written message

About this routine

Negotiation expert William Ury developed a method to help people decline requests without damaging relationships or compromising personal priorities. His framework rests on three connected moves: grounding your refusal in a deep personal commitment, stating the boundary plainly, and closing with an alternative proposal.

Using the William Ury positive no structure prevents the common traps of either agreeing reluctantly or delivering a harsh refusal. By framing your response around what you are saying yes to first, you protect your focus while maintaining goodwill with colleagues and friends.

This 20 minute exercise guides you through drafting and delivering a balanced response before you hit send or step into a conversation.

Why this routine works

Declines unwanted obligations without guilt or defensiveness
Protects time for your primary goals and commitments
Maintains trust and respect across personal and work relationships

FAQ

What is William Ury's positive no?

It is a three-part negotiation technique: saying yes to your core interests, stating a clear no to the specific request, and offering a constructive alternative.

Why start with a yes when declining a request?

Starting with an internal yes grounds your refusal in a positive value, making your boundary clear rather than personal or confrontational.

Sources

The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes by William Ury (2007)

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